All about baguettes and crêpes...

Start of the trip to Paris....trains are on strike again. This time luckily it didn't stop Reijo and I from getting on our train to the airport. When they called our flight, we waited til everyone else ran to the gate to board...laughing at how Reijo said we should wait til they call our names on the intercom. We got up, and right then they announced our names. We are either jackasses or movie stars, I can't tell.


So the first thing we hit, the Eiffel tower. The start of about 50 photos of it begins on my camera from this point. We had a few hours to kill before Clement gets off work....so this is where we started. There were quite a few tourists around, you can just tell from the look and the clicking of a thousand cameras. The Eiffel tower is much bigger than I imagined...not like I spent a lot of time studying it before I went there though. We crossed over a river where just before is an underpass. It looks just like the one Princess Diana drove under before she was killed, kind of a weird moment being there. Turned out it wasn't the actual one, but in my mind it looked like all the pictures I have seen. As we got under the tower, the view around was amazing. Tons of people getting tickets to go up, eating food from the little stands around the tower, and pigeons swooping by your head at mach 3.




We left the tower and walked for a bit more, wanting some food to snack on. I found a place that sold crêpes...so we dug in. I got Nutella and bananas....if you've never had a crêpes, go for this and you will be satisfied. We got a call from Clement, so we made our way back to the train station and headed for his place.

We spent the next 5 hours or so 'prepartying' at his flat. It's on the fifth floor of a thirteen floor apartment building. From the balcony you can see the Eiffel tower, especially at night. Oh, and the weather, it was grey, cloudy, and cold the entire time. I only saw son once I got back on the plane to return to Munich. We headed downstairs to the market by his place to get drinks. He had asked the security guard to show him where some limes were, and he proceeded to get into some conversation with Clement I can only describe as awkward if you don't know French. Towards the end, he was motioning something on his crotch and laughing. Reijo and I just looked confused...but he was basically telling Clement how he snuck weed in his pants from Amsterdam by putting it near his crotch so the dogs couldn't sniff it. Genius.

We get back to his flat and watched English MTV, YouTube videos of a guy named 'Bling Bling' (a crackhead that raps), and saw about 20 videos of Clements crazy roomate from San Diego when he lived there. His friend Sidi also showed up to join in for the night. We get on the train around 1245 because 'that's when the party starts in Paris' as Clement put it. I remember one stop we came to, about 3 or 4 cops were frantically looking in the trains for somebody. One guy stepped out and they grabbed him and put him against the wall and started searching him like crazy. From what I could tell they didn't say much and grabbed every pocket and opened every pouch in his bag. But soon after we made our exit and headed for the boat party where we could get in and get a bottle of champagne and vodka for 25 Euro a piece. Well, the rest of Paris beat us to it, because when we got there the line was rediculous. We decided to leave and try somewhere else, rather than wait for the next 2 hours to get in.



From this point on, long story short, we waited for a taxi for 90 minutes, then f0und our next bar, then were denied access because we 'didn't have enough girls'. Then we got denied again for the same reason. Then we stopped and at Donor Kebab with fries in it which was fantastic, then we waited for another taxi for 30 minutes...then we walked home. The night was a bust, we were tired, cranky, and had lost our steam.

Woke up at 1pm the next day. The three of us headed to the Notre Dame cathedral. Beautiful to say the least. We walked inside and spent a few minutes there. It was huge inside, I could easily tell this because of all the people inside and out...and it's a huge Paris attraction so it'd have to be pretty big. We skipped the view from the top because they wanted 9 Euro ($15) and the line was a bit long. Refer to google images for reference if you must see it.




Next we hit Clement's school, Creopole. He also studied car design, like myself, and now works at the same company, RTT. This is how I met him in Munich while he was training there. The school was small but had a few really cool works of art. It was also on one of the busiest streets in Paris, so busy you almost get frustrating navigating past the hoards of people.



On to the Louvre. We approach it on the east side, and it appears to go for at least half a mile. We enter from the street and soon we are inside the courtyard and I am staring at the Louvre Pyramid and the Arc de Triomphe from a middle point in between them. We head down into the pyramid to see the gallery that houses the Mona Lisa, Venus statue, and probably a thousand other amazing things I don't have enough time to mention. They close in 30 minutes, and actually Clement and Reijo bought the last tickets before his maching shut down, leaving me with no ticket but free entrance, sweet. We make a B line down the huge long corridor full of artwork for the Mona Lisa. It in a room off to the side about half way down. It's located on it's own wall in the middle of the room, and you can't get any closer than about 10 feet to it. I didn't really get to spend any time looking at it, to see if it could capture me in any way, but generally this is how these trips go. So much to see, so little time. Why is this painting so famous? Who know, but I saw it. Mark that off the list.








This painting was behind it....don't know who painted it but by the looks of the little old lady in front of it, it's huge.

And in honor of the popularity of rollerblading in Europe...I took this video outside the Louvre...



We head back to another Museum called the BeuxBourg(sp?) museum where I was told they might have some cool stuff. Reijo got talked into getting his caricature painted be some guy, so we stopped to watch a crappy drawing get made. Another guy asked me if he could draw me, I declined. But he kept persisting I got a little bothered and told him I just wanted to watch my friend. He then asked me if I was American, and proceeds to say "oh yeah, Americans, they never pay for paintings". I called him a jackass and started mocking his words back to him, so pissed off but we had to stay while Reijo got his portrait done. He soon walked away to go bother someone else, we saw Reijo's caricature, and quickly left. Picture Venice beach in Paris, this was the place. Gypsies, hippies, artists, and street performers. We finish the Paris tour by seeing the Obelisk in Bastille, and head back to Clements to get ready.



We arrive back by the Eiffel tower around 915 or so. We had to find a boat that had our party on it for the night. Well, it took about 45 minutes and 2 miles or so of walking back and forth before we found it, the 'River's King'. On the way I almost got attacked by a dog, and then as I ran past a security guard jumped out of his office and spoke something urgently to me in French. I was running to catch up with Reijo and Clement, so I looked guilty of something. I responded with "Sprechen sie English?". I just asked a French guy if he spoke English in German. He looked more confused than me, so he turned and I started walking.

Boat was awesome, we went down the Seine River past the Eiffel Tower, which is illuminated at night and has two spotlights that circle it at the top. People yelled everytime we went under a bridge and we got to see some beautiful sights in the brisk Paris wind. We docked back just after midnight where they let more people on for the rest of the night. We hung out for awhile, Clement kept saying he needed to rest, and soon fell asleep, where I got this picture....




But sure enough just like he said, by 1245 he was up and dancing, ready to party. We were on the dance floor and some girl came over and tried to put Clements collar down, so we ended up talking to her and her friend for awhile. People know maybe half the English the Germans know in Paris, so conversation was to a minimum with people for Reijo and I. We left around 3 to get coffee with the girls, and then headed home. I played a pretty good wingman than night, just ask Clement.

I hit the airport Sunday morning after maybe 4 hours of sleep on an air mattress. At the gate they had some game stations like you see in Walmart or Target that had two controllers sticking out of it. An older guy of about 65 went up to it and grabbed them both, one in each hand, and stared curiously at the TV for 5 minutes while the game did nothing. He just couldn't unlock the secret of the video game. I found it quite amusing, although I'm sure it pissed him off all the same.

If anybody reads these things, congratulations, you just made it through another adventure of Parker in Europe. Join us next week when we attempt to have a quiet evening in Munich, eat some more meat and potatoes, and inhale second hand smoke in everywhere you can imagine. Tschuss!

parker

Funny little flight attendants....

Hilarious Flight Attendant Routine - Watch more free videos

I had to laugh at this video...since I've been flying just a bit recently. The first part is good, but the second half gets even better.

parker

Germans love soccer...

Which is why this video is so funny to me....you would get the same reaction from people out here like on this video from Holland. Check it out...


Remote Control Soccer Prank - Watch more free videos

parker

Phoenix action part 2.

This weekend, I attempted to pull off the greatest surprise ever on my sister. It did not work. For many reasons. One, when I was in town a few weeks ago I accidentally mentioned I’d be back in three weeks time, I might have done this at least twice while I was in town. Two, a bunch of people at Kris’ wedding spilled the beans that I’d be returning for Courtney’s wedding. After someone hears this many screw ups….they are bound to believe that I am bullshitting when I say I can’t make it back and that I’d see them in December. So anyhow, cats outta the bag, didn’t get to pull off the big surprise on Courtney, but at the end of the day I was in town and that’s what matters I guess.

I got in Wednesday afternoon, Courtney picked me up and I requested Taco Bell. Some things you crave if you can’t have them for two months, even if it is so greasy the meat turns orange and you can almost watch your arteries fill as you eat it. I followed that with a steak and chicken dinner at Outback, care of Scott.

Thursday night was filled with Dustin picking me up and heading off to Tempe to meet up with Tim at Fat Tuesdays. Tim gets to charge it to the game on his company’s bill, so we got free shots and drinks. Bonus. Then it was back to Tim and Adam’s house to listen to the new Relax Atomic album that they just finished mastering. Since a keg was ordered for the ‘event’, I proceeded to take part in helping lighten the weight on the keg and drank free beer all night. Total cost…$0.

Courtney and Scott’s wedding was Friday, so I went shopping in the early part of the day and then had one job to do before I left….one job. I had to pick up two necklaces for my nephews at Things Remembered. I failed to remember these things, so when I arrived back at home, 5 minutes before the limo was to depart, I had to hop in my car and fly to the mall to pick em up. Luckily Marnee came with so I was able to have her run in and get them while at the same time being able to scare the crap out of her driving past every speed limit posted. But we made it back, had 4 glasses of Moet in the limo, and arrived at the wedding. Everyone was late…lots of traffic at that time I guess. But the wedding was nice and the evening involved schmoozing and rubbing elbows with friends and family. It was at the Ruster’s Roost on South Mountain, and served our dinners to us in tin trays, and the chicken was delicious. I myself passed out from exhaustion in the limo on the way home at 11pm because I am a total party animal.


Ann Marie, Courtney, Lori, and Gina...friends for as long as I can remember.
Courtney and Scott...why does Scott's face look so red? How can that be? hmmm.....
Me, Lisa, Jason, Madaline, Tiffany, Eric, Monica, and Kris...
This is the man that taught me everything I know.
Saturday went shooting with my brother in the desert. Bought some clay pigeons and a launcher and threw up targets for each other to shoot with his shotgun. I might be around 50% accuracy for this last round, but seeing it was my first time I don’t feel too bad.



Sat night, Eric ordered the UFC fight and about 10 of us showed up to watch the fight. A few of us left shortly after to head to Tempe and ended up again at Fat Tuesdays, then went off to the Big Bang piano bar. Kristi was our driver, so Nikki, her and I left around 1am to hit the Azool bar up off the Carefree highway. I last remember the night being really windy, and calling Alex at three in the morning to say ‘Hi’.

So Sunday I spent some time with my folks at church and then lunch at Einsteins….then it was off to Sky Harbor Airport to pick up Alex. This is one of those ‘well 16 hours together is better than nothing’ kind of trips. We had dinner at Ah-So, a Japanese steak house like Benihana’s….and I stuffed myself silly with chicken, steak, and fried rice.

We are so sexy it causes us to make faces like this...or that could be the sake...

So this weekend I had a little more time to relax and be on my own and just chill. Which was nice since I haven’t been doing a lot of that lately. So now I’m on the home stretch of my 5 month stay in Germany. In almost exactly two months I’ll be back in LAX, homeless, but still stateside. Then all the crazy traveling comes to an end, well, unless I get it started in the US and finally travel to all the places I’ve always wanted to go. We will see….


parker

I’m out like a rocket in Milano…

My first trip to another country on my own. I picked this weekend, October 12-14th, because there was a race at the Monza Autodromo…Endurance Touring Car Series. I didn’t really have a gameplan other than that in Milan…and it worked out perfect.

Thursday night I found out that the S-Bahn train to take me to the airport was going to be on strike. Great…two other options….take a bus from another station which could take a few hours of waiting since everyone would be using it…or take a taxi for around $50 Euro which might have been more since they know the tourists would be begging for rides. I went to the train station anyhow and luckily they had one train working…only to the airport. Sweet.

I get to Milan around 11 or so…and took a train to the city and then to my hotel. I’m pretty used to living undergound and getting around like that so it wasn’t too big of a deal. The hotel was nice and right near a train station. I unload my things and go for my first meal…pizza (pizza meal 1 of 4)!

I went to the city center and picked up a tourist guide that had a map. This is where things got interesting. Inside the book they have numbers corresponding to the pictures in the book. They also have landmarks on the map with numbers next to them. I start heading towards what I think is Cenacolo Vinciano…a place next to the St. Maria della Grazie cathedral that houses Da Vinci’s “Last Supper”. I’m walking for awhile and trying to find it but to no avail. I asked for help three times from random Italian people…finally being shown that the Grazie is about 2 miles southeast. Apparently, the map has it’s own set of numbers which are listed on the back. Nice.

But something strange happened as I started onwards again, a lady walking in front of me heading towards me noticed something on the ground. As I passed she was picking up a gold men’s ring. She motioned at me seeing if it was mine, and I shook my head no, and then started to leave. Then she walked over to me and offered me the ring. I refused, but she took my hand and placed it in it and then closed my hand, all the while saying something in Italian with a sincerity I can’t even describe. She gave my this ring, and I don’t know why, but now I feel all superstitious like it’s supposed to be a good luck charm or give me magic power or something. Either way I put it in my bag and moved on.

Walked by the Arena Civica And then I went and check out the Arco della Pace, a statue of sorts that celebrates Napolean’s triumph. Unfortunately it was under renovation at the time so the left side had scaffolding and white plastic tarps covering it. I phoned Federico and made plans for the evening and started making my way to the Cenacolo Vinciano where Da Vinci’s painting is held. After walking for about an hour or so, I arrive. The place is pretty busy with people…and I find out that the only way to get a ticket to get inside is to make a reservation online…and those are booked for the next two weeks. Looks like I won’t be seeing Da Vinci’s painting this trip after all. Defeated…I went inside the St Maria della Grazie cathedral and took some pictures.
Next I moved on to go find the Duomo area in Milan, basically the city center. I stopped in a café to get some gelato…and tried to sit for a minute and rest. Well, apparently you can’t sit in there unless you pay money for the table…so I was asked to leave. A-holes. I get to the area near the Piazza del Duomo cathedral, still not seeing it. I turn one last corner and there it is, just gleaming in the sun about a ¼ mile away from me. It is made of multi color pink marble, is about 700 years old, and was quite possible the biggest church I’ve now seen, bigger than in Prague. The inside had these huge vaulted ceiling that just shot up so far in the air. It was also very dark inside…and had a very calming effect just being inside this place.






Walked around some shops…went to the Ferrari store…then saw this street sweeper vehicle catch fire, sweet.

That night I met up with Federico and went to Rosso Pomodoro for dinner. They specialize in pizza, which I gladly accepted (pizza 2 of 4). They have a special kind of mozzeralla cheese you only get if you ask for it…and it might have been one of the best pizza’s ever. Onwards we went to Club Armani. Federico has some friends around town, so he was able to get us, 4 girls from his gym, and 2 more of his guy friends on the list. This place is in the Armani ‘district’ where he owns like 3 or 4 building blocks. Federico also warned me he shows up sometimes at the club and likes young boys and to stay alert. Will do. But inside, drinks were 20 Euro each…about $28 US dollars. Wow. I got two. Double wow. Why on earth did I do that, wow. I could have had 2 really good steak dinners for that price. I had a good time there but was pretty exhausted from the day, so I didn’t get to crazy and made it back to my little hotel by 3am.




Wake up Saturday….time to head to Monza. I get on the train around 12.…realizing racing might be over by 2 or 3, but I had to make it there anyhow. All was good til I got to the Monza city center….and had to board a train. I took the wrong direction, and ended up getting there in one hour instead of 15 minutes. And the whole time there was this crazy Italian lady who got on and was talking to herself the entire time. I kept looking back and the old people beside her just had these frozen stares of disbelief that never left their faces the entire time. She soon got off, and the bus driver just shook his head and said ‘she smokes too much cannabis’…and I responded ‘sounds like meth to me.’ I get off the bus, grab a slice of pizza (3 of 4) and head to the track. I still didn’t know if I was going the right way, but soon I heard the sounds of engines roaring and cars whizzing by. I had arrived. I almost couldn’t contain my excitement as I was walking closer and closer still not being able to see the cars. But soon I walked inside and saw 350z’s racing around…and the stands were almost completely empty.


I walked around for a bit, then noticed people taking the tunnel underneath to get to the middle. On that side is the staging area and all the cars getting ready for their race times. The Renault Clio’s were getting ready, so I made my way to the far side of the track to go watch. One car lost control as he was coming through the S curve right towards me, but corrected at the last minute to regain control and got back on course, leaving the dust unsettled and rocks everywhere on the track. I did catch the tail end of one car spinning out at the end of the same curve.


On to the F. Junior Monza 1.2 race cars…these things were super tiny but pretty quick. About 30 or so of them on the track, looked awesome watching them all shoot through the turns one by one.



I make it back to the main stands by the starting line for the start of the EGTS series. I can hear the cars coming out, warming their engines…but I still didn’t know what cars were involved in the race. Then the Ferrari’s growling in the alley came out…a 612, 360, and F430. Followed by two Audi TT’s, Lamborghini Gallardo, a few Porsche 911s…two Vipers, and even a little Lotus Exige to bring up the rear. Here was the start….so amazing….


My seat was vibrating like no other, and the sound was almost deafening but at the same time was the greatest thing you’ve ever heard. The two TT’s held the lead the entire time, just lapping some of the other cars during the hour long race. Now the stands were a little more occupied with people. The day was finished out with the F. Monza series and then the IPS (Italian Prototype Series). I left feeling satisfied, because this is what I came to see and my mission was accomplished.

Saturday night, meet back with Federico and head to the Beach Club. This was a little more ‘regular’ of a club. 10 Euro drinks. The only problem was how to order them. I go to the bartender, try to order (mind you I don’t speak Italian and English is hard to come by) and he tells me to go to the girl at the cash register and pay her. I walk the 5 steps to get to her. So I pay her and then tell her what I want to drink. She then hands me a coupon and stamps my hand, and tell me to see the bartender again. This time I give him my coupon and I get my whiskey. Geez, all that seems pretty complicated just to get one freakin drink. But we were in a group of about 8 of us and one of the guys got a bottle of rum towards the end of the night, so that saved my some cash.

Sunday morning I had some time to kill before my flight, so I went to the Museum Civico Storia Nature, where they held a collection of dinosaurs, bones, animals, and rocks. Yay. Left there and went to the Comune di Milano, where they hold a large collection of modern art. The mural to the building was funny, which is basically a bunch of drug addicted cartoon characters hooked on cocaine, which a huge pile of it in the center. You almost wouldn’t notice it if you didn’t stop to look at it…..I thought it was pretty clever. Here’s some of my favorites from the gallery….



I then made my way to the Palazzo di Brera museum and saw works from such artists as Tintoretto, Montegna, Giovanni Bellini. Montegna’s “Cristo Morto (Dead Christ)” was there and was so impressive to see in real life. It is not a large painting, and had a tinted glass over the front to keep it protected. Other paintings were so large they must have been 20 feet by 10 feet at least. There were seismographs in every corner of every room, and they had ‘humidor’s of sorts with hundreds of unhung paintings…probably from lesser known artists of the same time period.


I last went to the Piazza Castello castle and walked around there a bit, then got picked up by Federico and headed to the airport, where I had pizza for the fourth and final time. 4 out of my 6 meals were pizza in Italy, awesome. I ate pizza almost every day for lunch in high school…so this is no big deal for me.I realize that by only telling you the big exciting things I do it negates the days I sit at work, come home and have nothing to do but lollygag on the internet, or are just plain bored. But I realize I am getting to do some pretty wild stuff out here and really have no complaints.

Parker